A performance coach who turned to solo IVF to have her son, after fearing she was running out of time to find the perfect partner, used her experience to start a dating app for for those who want to start a family.
Mental health clinician Stacy Thomson, 43, from St Albans, Hertfordshire, had son Milo alone in 2021, after failing to find a suitable partner to have a baby on dating sites regular dating that she is using.
Stacy nhận thấy các ứng dụng hẹn hò ‘quá bình thường’ và nhận thấy rằng việc thêm thông tin bạn muốn có con vào hồ sơ trực tuyến của mình sẽ ‘làm đàn ông chán nản’, vì vậy cô ấy đã chủ động bắt đầu ứng dụng của riêng mình có tên Reddi.
Reddi đã được ra mắt vào tháng 7 năm nay và những người đăng ký sẽ được xem xét kỹ lưỡng trước khi có thể tham gia.
Stacy hy vọng cô cũng sẽ tìm thấy Mr Right trên ứng dụng của mình, cho biết: ‘Mọi người trên nền tảng hẹn hò trực tuyến dường như chỉ muốn điều gì đó bình thường và thật khó để vượt qua những người đàn ông không có cùng mục tiêu sống với tôi.’
Stacy Thomson, 43 tuổi, đến từ St Albans, Hertfordshire đã có con trai Milo, một tuổi vào năm ngoái và đã thành lập một ứng dụng hẹn hò Reddi, được thiết kế dành cho những người muốn có con.
Stacy, 43 tuổi, đã làm bài kiểm tra khả năng sinh sản sau khi thấy mình độc thân ở tuổi 40 và biết rằng ‘đồng hồ đang điểm’, cô quyết định thực hiện bước nhảy vọt và solo với hành trình IVF của mình
The now mother of one wanted a traditional family set-up, but her determination to have a child prompted her to harvest her eggs, after finding herself single at 40.
After a fertility test showed Stacy the ‘clock was ticking’ she set the ball rolling with the IVF process.
‘I did a fertility test in July 2020 and it came back with quite a poor result which worried me.
‘I knew the clock was ticking and I was running out of options.
‘I ultimately made the decision to have a baby by myself, which I have no regrets about, but it wasn’t how I imagined starting a family.
‘That’s why I’ve now launched a new app for people who are aiming to start or expand families.’
For Stacy, finding someone who also wanted children was very important.
She said: ‘I’ve always wanted kids, but I imagined I’d have a loving relationship before bringing a child into the world.
‘It was only as I got older and older that I realised it might not happen.
‘The biggest problem is that, once you’re in your late 30s, if you’ve got that you want kids in your dating profile then that puts off a lot of men.
‘Unfortunately, on most apps you can’t filter out people who don’t want children or it can be ambiguous with when they want to start a family.’
And Stacy admits that she grew tired of searching for ‘the one’.
She said: ‘I just got fatigued by online dating. My last relationship ended at the one-year mark and I suddenly realised I was single at 40.
Stacy pictured during her IVF journey amid the pandemic. She said she has no regrets but the process was ‘lonely’ for her
‘My first round of IVF was a success, I was very lucky.’ And while Stacy was delighted to find out she was pregnant, she admits that the IVF journey was difficult alone. She said: ‘It was a very lonely process. I didn’t imagine having children this way. ‘I remember being in hospital, waiting to be sent down for my c-section, sitting on the bed while I was given an epidural and I was sobbing. ‘I think I was grieving for the life I thought I’d have.’
The mental health clinician and entrepreneur said she experienced ‘dating fatigue’ which is now a common phenomenon when using dating apps such as Tinder
‘After taking a fertility test and it coming back quite negative, I knew I had to do something soon if I wanted to become a mum.
‘I’ve always been the kind of person who is fast to act once I’ve made a decision. I had the fertility test in July 2020 and by the September I was having my eggs harvested.
‘My first round of IVF was a success, I was very lucky.’
And while Stacy was delighted to find out she was pregnant, she admits that the IVF journey was difficult alone.
She said: ‘It was a very lonely process. I didn’t imagine having children this way.
‘I remember being in hospital, waiting to be sent down for my c-section, sitting on the bed while I was given an epidural and I was sobbing.
‘I think I was grieving for the life I thought I’d have.’
Baby Milo was born in August 2021 and, Stacy has now founded her new dating app for people wanting to start families.
She said: ‘Being a single mum has been both challenging and wonderful.
‘I’m so glad I decided to take that leap but there are other people out there who might not be able to afford or want to have a baby without a partner and, for them, they end up missing out when they’re unable to find a suitable relationship.
Stacy wearing her Reddi branded sweater – the app is now available for iOS users and was launched this year
Stacy said people on dating apps were ‘looking for hook-ups and something casual’ which wasn’t what she was after
‘This sparked the idea for Reddi, a new kind of dating platform where people share the same values and life goals.’
The app, which was launched in July this year, is an exclusive, member-only site and Stacy says she already has around 200 people on the waiting list.
She said: ‘Each profile is vetted by a human being before they’re allowed on the site. This is because we want to make sure everyone is genuine and on the platform for sincere reasons.
‘We use social media accounts as part of the vetting process but, for us, it’s not about status, who you know or what you do, it’s as much about whether you are a well-rounded, decent human being who cares about other people and is serious about a finding a partner.’
The application process will give priority to those who are recommended by other existing members of the community, with selected members having access to ‘Golden Tickets’, allowing their referred friends to jump up the waiting list.
Stacy said: ‘Being a single mum has been both challenging and wonderful. ‘I’m so glad I decided to take that leap but there are other people out there who might not be able to afford or want to have a baby without a partner and, for them, they end up missing out when they’re unable to find a suitable relationship.’
Stacy with her son Milo, navigating single parenting she was inspired to launch her own app to help others find like minded people with similar goals to have a family and hopes to find ‘the one’ herself
If you do get accepted, you will be given the choice of various membership options, initially starting at £36 for three months.
Stacy said: ‘The app is just the start. We have big dreams about the future, creating both online and offline experiences for our members.
What is dating fatigue?
According to Psychology Today dating fatigue might present as an attitude of indifference, feelingand hopeless, exhausted at the thought of another date, or thinking you’re ready to give up.
Some people will experience dating fatigue after just a few dates, and others won’t experience it for a few years of dating.
Most will feel dating fatigue on and off over time. When you will experience it depends on your expectations, how you handle rejection and disappointment, how you take care of yourself, and whether or not you view the dating journey as an opportunity for growth or you resist change.
It is common with dating apps – where people have multiple choices of dates from thousands of options.
‘The worst thing for someone who wants to have a family, even if only in their longer-term future, is to enter a relationship, only to find out that they don’t share the same vision as their prospective partner.
‘This can and has led to many wasted years, not to mention the heartbreak and unrealised fulfilment, which can last a lifetime.’
And Stacy is well aware of online dating’s pitfalls.
She said: ‘I know from first-hand experience that navigating the world of online dating is not an easy task.
‘The endless options have inevitably led to many people experiencing an overwhelming sense of dating fatigue, which I’ve felt too.
‘Post pandemic, many daters have less desire for casual dates and hook-ups. Instead, they have a greater desire to date with more purpose and Reddi aims to help them do just that.’
Now Stacy hopes her app will help her to find love.
She said: ‘I’m still single but I am on the app and I’m definitely still hopeful for love.
‘At the moment, I’m very busy – between looking after Milo and running my business – but I’m excited to see what the future holds.
‘Who knows, I may find someone for myself on Reddi.’
Reddi is available to download on iOS, visit: www.iamreddi.com